phamos

I would like to state for the record that I was NOT the only one driving the streets of Madison today with my windows rolled down and my stereo cranked up. Far from it! In fact, people were busting out their summeriest cars -- I spotted a Volkswagen convertible, one of those Cameros with, like, batwing panels missing from the top/sides, and, best of all, a bigwheel Jeep Wrangler with no cover and a rack of HUGE spotlights atop the windshield. It was like a scene out of an 80s high school movie, people piling into some suburban last-day-of-summer keg party, and the preppy girl in the VW (played by either Lea Thompson or Kristy Swanson) is secretly in love with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks (Camero, wearing acid-washed jean jacket and possibly in possession of some kind of wispy facial hair), so he and her fratty boombatty boyfriend (Wrangler) are going to RUMBLE. This fight may or may not be set to the strains of "Separate Ways" by Journey.

ANYWHOO, it's very lovely out. However, I have noticed that on days when it's nice out, it takes about twice as long for the pizza delivery guy to get here. I am having trouble coming up with a reasonable hypothesis as to why this is.

watch out, parents! there's a totally new trend in town. it's called "cutting"!

there is even a new genre of music -- "emo" -- associated with promoting the cutting culture.

also, your children collect pogs and read teh intarwebs.

*sigh*

my friend brooks is in joel klein's newest entertainment weekly column. for some reason, ew.com doesn't host the klein column, so here's the relevant bits transcribed by me:

Looking to turn my anger into action without actually getting up, I found savefrenchie.com, a site that has gotten people to send emails (5,000 so far) to the show's sponsors, demanding Frenchie's returns. I arranged a breakfast with the guy who started the site, Brooks King, a 23-year-old graphic designer and recent Brown graduate, who was in New york to protest against wwar with Iraq. No cause is too big or tee small for Brooks King.

Brooks, who has a shaved head and a tongue ring, was not allowed to watch much TV as a kid, which explains quite a lot, including the fact that he's applying to be n the next Survivor. "It's a double standard," he told me about the injustice of Frenchie. "There's a history of the black female body being hypersexualized and depicted as grotesque in its fertility." I gave Brooks a look. "I took a class on this," he admitted. Brooks' anger is so strong, he briefly considered not watching Idol anymore. "But, i like the show too much," he said. He has, however, fought the power by erasing the Paula Abdul MP3s from his design companyy's iTunes, where they had been in heavy rotation, particularly "Opposites Attract."

i don't know if it comes across how much brooks is simultaneously serious and taking the piss. i guess you have to know him, or else he might maybe sound like a pompous asshole. of course, i read it and thought it was hilarious. i mean, his elaborate non-wedding was in sunday styles of the NY Times and included him wearing a giant bear head. the absurdism is obvious. but why didn't he tell me he was trying to save frenchie?! or in new york for the rally? brooks, stop conquering print media and share the love!

i have a crush on the dancy gap commercial guy. he's sexy and swivels his hips in a devil-may-care fashion.

on the american idol front, i'm hoping someone manages to steal the security camera footage of justin and kelly alone in that big house together for the next week and posts it on the internet. because in my imagination, it's SAUCY!

i got this off of moby's webjournal. it's from the onion. the onion website loads rilly rilly slow. (i'm writing rilly like they did all through this one issue of sassy in '93 or thereabouts. it made me want to mcshiv myself in the eye...)

The Hammurderer's Jan. 11 debut ad—in which he seizes and devours the McDonald's Happy Meal Guys, oblivious to their frantic screams—earned poor marks from parents and child-development experts, who feared the spot might send the message to children that killing is acceptable. Several weeks later, more controversy erupted over the promotional coloring book "Shivved In The McRibs," in which the Hammurderer decapitates Mayor McCheese and eats his head. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald's executives defended the coloring book as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor's head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger."

hee. mcshiv. i'm going to say that all the time now.

sarah hughes won!

i have to go post on the fametracker schadenfreude thread about how i was hoping michelle kwan would fall and leave space open for sarah to win. and i was going "fall,michelle, fall!" and then she did, and i cackled insanely. segev had a look of absolute shock on his face at me being so evil.

but i'm sorry, michelle kwan always struck me as so fake, and sarah hughes was so...real! so damn cute and just excited to be there. she wasn't skating to prove anything, she was skating because it was her dream to be doing exactly that -- to be center stage on the olympic ice. and she went out and skated the best she could. THAT's what should be rewarded. it was possibly the most perfect routine i've ever seen. and she wasn't tara lipinksi, all overly cute and obnoxiously excited. she was genuinely thrilled.

i like when things end the way i want them to.

dude, neil gaiman used to be a hardcore scientologist! he actually, like, ran a center or something. i'm creeped out by this. but at least he's apparently out, now, which is more than i can say for jason lee.

we just got a check from the "evall-lynn fund" of some foundation. hee hee hee. evil-lyn. i'm waiting for the grant from the "man at arms foundation" or the "mossman corporation." heeee.

[no, but is she going to make "the future of little girls" into illiterate numbskulls?]

this website is hella cool. it has a bunch of essays about life in new york -- very journally, almost.

one of their features is a bunch of defaced britney spears live in vegas ads from the subway, some of which i'd already seen before (like the one where her eyes are blanked out, her forehead says vacant, and a bunch of crudely drawn phalluses are spooging all over her face -- i think that one was at 66th/lincoln center). and they received in response a number of emails like the following, from big brit fan

I think that is is very rude of you ppl and who ever did that to britneys pics because she is 20 years old and she is aloud to have a life im sure that all you girls that put her down probably wear about the same clothing so if she wants to wear it she can remember she's 20
i think that who ever did that to them posters should get in big trouble
I love britney there is nothing wrong with her

*snicker* not as amusing as the rabid michael jackson fans that invade posting boards every now and then, but close. is there like some sort of central command? where sirens go off every time precious brit's integrity is challenged so every 14 year old in the country can pause in the middle of emailing trl to ask them to play that new shakira video because she is hotttt [woooooooo!] and defend her?

i'm not personally offended by britney in any way. i think she's attractive, entertaining, and probably not too bright. i don't think she is the downfall of america. i don't think she's the best entertainer ever or the most beautiful girl ever but on this earth [dang, y'all!]. i don't quite get why she gets everyone so riled in one direction or the other. but i'm enjoying sitting back and watching it all unfold.

abby said:

a) willy wonka candy rules, especially laffy taffy, which is the greatest candy ever invented.

katie said:

on the topic of willy wonka, i agree, laffy taffy is the world's best candy, i eat it everyday.

Laffy Taffy used to run ads in Archie comics in the late 80s, where the various fruit flavors would brainstrom jokes and puns. I have never actually eaten said taffy.

We're going to see Monsters Inc tonight. I'm psyched. Rumor has it Harry Potter showings next weekend have already sold out online. Yikes.