phamos: (wangchungorillkickyourass!)
I would like to state for the record that I was NOT the only one driving the streets of Madison today with my windows rolled down and my stereo cranked up. Far from it! In fact, people were busting out their summeriest cars -- I spotted a Volkswagen convertible, one of those Cameros with, like, batwing panels missing from the top/sides, and, best of all, a bigwheel Jeep Wrangler with no cover and a rack of HUGE spotlights atop the windshield. It was like a scene out of an 80s high school movie, people piling into some suburban last-day-of-summer keg party, and the preppy girl in the VW (played by either Lea Thompson or Kristy Swanson) is secretly in love with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks (Camero, wearing acid-washed jean jacket and possibly in possession of some kind of wispy facial hair), so he and her fratty boombatty boyfriend (Wrangler) are going to RUMBLE. This fight may or may not be set to the strains of "Separate Ways" by Journey.

ANYWHOO, it's very lovely out. However, I have noticed that on days when it's nice out, it takes about twice as long for the pizza delivery guy to get here. I am having trouble coming up with a reasonable hypothesis as to why this is.
phamos: (mario)
watch out, parents! there's a totally new trend in town. it's called "cutting"!

there is even a new genre of music -- "emo" -- associated with promoting the cutting culture.

also, your children collect pogs and read teh intarwebs.

*sigh*
phamos: (nerd)
i'm eating an apple and watching the star wars holiday special. so far it's made up almost entirely of incomprehensible wookie grunting. mark hamill is wearing a distracting amount of makeup.
phamos: (whatonearth)
my friend brooks is in joel klein's newest entertainment weekly column. for some reason, ew.com doesn't host the klein column, so here's the relevant bits transcribed by me:

Looking to turn my anger into action without actually getting up, I found savefrenchie.com, a site that has gotten people to send emails (5,000 so far) to the show's sponsors, demanding Frenchie's returns. I arranged a breakfast with the guy who started the site, Brooks King, a 23-year-old graphic designer and recent Brown graduate, who was in New york to protest against wwar with Iraq. No cause is too big or tee small for Brooks King.

Brooks, who has a shaved head and a tongue ring, was not allowed to watch much TV as a kid, which explains quite a lot, including the fact that he's applying to be n the next Survivor. "It's a double standard," he told me about the injustice of Frenchie. "There's a history of the black female body being hypersexualized and depicted as grotesque in its fertility." I gave Brooks a look. "I took a class on this," he admitted. Brooks' anger is so strong, he briefly considered not watching Idol anymore. "But, i like the show too much," he said. He has, however, fought the power by erasing the Paula Abdul MP3s from his design companyy's iTunes, where they had been in heavy rotation, particularly "Opposites Attract."


i don't know if it comes across how much brooks is simultaneously serious and taking the piss. i guess you have to know him, or else he might maybe sound like a pompous asshole. of course, i read it and thought it was hilarious. i mean, his elaborate non-wedding was in sunday styles of the NY Times and included him wearing a giant bear head. the absurdism is obvious. but why didn't he tell me he was trying to save frenchie?! or in new york for the rally? brooks, stop conquering print media and share the love!
phamos: (towel)
and now, i shall eat this mint. it is waaaaaafer thin.

*boom*

sexy sexy

Aug. 28th, 2002 10:13 pm
phamos: (Default)
i have a crush on the dancy gap commercial guy. he's sexy and swivels his hips in a devil-may-care fashion.

on the american idol front, i'm hoping someone manages to steal the security camera footage of justin and kelly alone in that big house together for the next week and posts it on the internet. because in my imagination, it's SAUCY!
phamos: (Default)
i got this off of moby's webjournal. it's from the onion. the onion website loads rilly rilly slow. (i'm writing rilly like they did all through this one issue of sassy in '93 or thereabouts. it made me want to mcshiv myself in the eye...)

The Hammurderer's Jan. 11 debut ad—in which he seizes and devours the McDonald's Happy Meal Guys, oblivious to their frantic screams—earned poor marks from parents and child-development experts, who feared the spot might send the message to children that killing is acceptable. Several weeks later, more controversy erupted over the promotional coloring book "Shivved In The McRibs," in which the Hammurderer decapitates Mayor McCheese and eats his head. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald's executives defended the coloring book as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor's head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger."

hee. mcshiv. i'm going to say that all the time now.

hee

Feb. 25th, 2002 03:18 pm
phamos: (Default)
ACLU office quote of the day:

"Yeah, I hate it when I accidentally kill my limo driver."
-Rachel Fishman

(...who accidentally brutally cut his head off while shaving...)
phamos: (Default)
sarah hughes won!

i have to go post on the fametracker schadenfreude thread about how i was hoping michelle kwan would fall and leave space open for sarah to win. and i was going "fall,michelle, fall!" and then she did, and i cackled insanely. segev had a look of absolute shock on his face at me being so evil.

but i'm sorry, michelle kwan always struck me as so fake, and sarah hughes was so...real! so damn cute and just excited to be there. she wasn't skating to prove anything, she was skating because it was her dream to be doing exactly that -- to be center stage on the olympic ice. and she went out and skated the best she could. THAT's what should be rewarded. it was possibly the most perfect routine i've ever seen. and she wasn't tara lipinksi, all overly cute and obnoxiously excited. she was genuinely thrilled.

i like when things end the way i want them to.

skating

Feb. 21st, 2002 11:09 pm
phamos: (Default)
oh. my. GOD. sarah hughes' performance just now was PHENOMENAL. so, so pretty. i love her. she's so cute. she just looked so thrilled to be out there. what a moment for her. and i love that her coach had her stand still and look at all the people cheering for her. that was great.

i think she deserved higher scores, especially artistic ones. she was just so SMOOTH!

eeeeew

Feb. 1st, 2002 12:43 pm
phamos: (Default)
dude, neil gaiman used to be a hardcore scientologist! he actually, like, ran a center or something. i'm creeped out by this. but at least he's apparently out, now, which is more than i can say for jason lee.

ooh, ooh!

Jan. 25th, 2002 11:53 am
phamos: (Default)
and we just got money from wes craven. rock!

hee

Jan. 25th, 2002 11:49 am
phamos: (Default)
we just got a check from the "evall-lynn fund" of some foundation. hee hee hee. evil-lyn. i'm waiting for the grant from the "man at arms foundation" or the "mossman corporation." heeee.

of COURSE!

Jan. 22nd, 2002 11:44 pm
phamos: (Default)
and to think, all along the answer was out there...on usenet...

Kansan: 116, the inversion of 911

I have been posting my theories on the Internet for more than
three years now and, as a result, a circle of friends has developed
who send me their own discoveries and insights about these
subjects. These friends live in Italy, Germany, the British Isles,
Canada, and the U.S. and have provided many useful and original
ideas.

Recently, a friend in Germany e-mailed me about the teenager
who flew his airplane into a building in Tampa, Florida. He had
noted that the day of this incident, January 5, 2002, had come 116
days after September 11, 2001, the day of the Attack on America.
The number 116 is the inversion of the number 911.

I e-mailed back to him that the teenager's real family name was
not "Bishop", but "Bishara", an Arabic family name. Back in June
1968 the Arab "lone gunman" Sirhan Bishara Sirhan supposedly
killed Bobby Kennedy on the first anniversary of the capture of the
Old City of Jerusalem and the Temple Mount by the so-called State
of Israel.

In the last few days I have had more insights about this number,
116, the inversion of 911:

*** 116 could stand for 11/6, i.e., June 11 in European
notation. And what happened on June 11? The fake execution of
Timothy McVeigh last summer, an event that preceded September
11 by exactly three months.

*** 116 could also stand for 1/16, i.e., January 16 in European
notation. What about January 16? It is the shared birthday of
British supermodel Kate Moss and the late singer Aaliyah who was
killed in an aviation "accident" last August 25. This day, August
25, also just happens to be the birthday of German supermodel
Claudia Schiffer.

In many occasions the Illuminati use six-month intervals to
connect events. For example, January 16 is six months away from
July 16, the anniversary of JFK, Jr.'s "accidental" aviation death in
1999.

July 16 also happens to be the launch date of Apollo 11 back in
1969.

The Apollo 11 mission landed on the Moon on July 20. July 20
happens to be the birthday of German-Brazilian supermodel Gisele
Buendchen. Six months from Gisele's birthday comes January 20,
the anniversary of George W. Bush's Inauguration.

Last summer I realized that George Bush (GB) and Gisele
Buendchen (GB) had been symbolically linked by the Illuminati.
Gisele's first appearance on Jay Leno's "Tonight Show", a very
important event in a celebrity's career, happened on Thursday,
February 8, 2001. On that very same day a "deranged" accountant
from Indiana shot up the White House, the first time this had
happened during W.'s Presidency.

Nine months after February 8, after the length of a "pregnancy",
German supermodel Heidi Klum appeared at the MTV Europe
music awards on Thursday, November 8, 2001. November 8 is the
anniversary of Hitler's Munich beerhall Putsch (1923). November 8
is also the feast day of the Archangels Michael and Gabriel.

Here is wisdom: The birthday of Brazilian supermodel Adriana
Lima, Heidi's girlfriend in some editions of the Victoria's Secret
catalog, is June 12, or 11 days away from Heidi's birthday of June
1. Adriana's birthday is also just 1 day away from the date of
McVeigh's fake execution.

Victoria's Secret Angel Heidi was born near the time of a Blue
New Moon in 1973.

Victoria's Secret Angel Adriana was born near the time of a
Blue New Moon in 1981.

Adriana Lima: AL

Anno Lucis: AL

Freemasons believe that the present year is Year 6002 A:.L:.


so...the freemasons, the jews, gisele bundchen and jay leno blew up the world trade center?
phamos: (Default)
[no, but is she going to make "the future of little girls" into illiterate numbskulls?]

this website is hella cool. it has a bunch of essays about life in new york -- very journally, almost.

one of their features is a bunch of defaced britney spears live in vegas ads from the subway, some of which i'd already seen before (like the one where her eyes are blanked out, her forehead says vacant, and a bunch of crudely drawn phalluses are spooging all over her face -- i think that one was at 66th/lincoln center). and they received in response a number of emails like the following, from big brit fan

I think that is is very rude of you ppl and who ever did that to britneys pics because she is 20 years old and she is aloud to have a life im sure that all you girls that put her down probably wear about the same clothing so if she wants to wear it she can remember she's 20
i think that who ever did that to them posters should get in big trouble
I love britney there is nothing wrong with her


*snicker* not as amusing as the rabid michael jackson fans that invade posting boards every now and then, but close. is there like some sort of central command? where sirens go off every time precious brit's integrity is challenged so every 14 year old in the country can pause in the middle of emailing trl to ask them to play that new shakira video because she is hotttt [woooooooo!] and defend her?

i'm not personally offended by britney in any way. i think she's attractive, entertaining, and probably not too bright. i don't think she is the downfall of america. i don't think she's the best entertainer ever or the most beautiful girl ever but on this earth [dang, y'all!]. i don't quite get why she gets everyone so riled in one direction or the other. but i'm enjoying sitting back and watching it all unfold.
phamos: (Default)
abby said:

the laffy taffy jokes ruled.

Dude, Abby, those are so lame.
phamos: (Default)
abby said:

a) willy wonka candy rules, especially laffy taffy, which is the greatest candy ever invented.

katie said:

on the topic of willy wonka, i agree, laffy taffy is the world's best candy, i eat it everyday.

Laffy Taffy used to run ads in Archie comics in the late 80s, where the various fruit flavors would brainstrom jokes and puns. I have never actually eaten said taffy.

We're going to see Monsters Inc tonight. I'm psyched. Rumor has it Harry Potter showings next weekend have already sold out online. Yikes.
phamos: (Default)
Wonka candy redid all their packaging. The gobstoppers and nerds are far more psychedelic now.

I love Wonka candy. It's so -- non-chocolate-dependent.

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phamos: (Default)
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