phamos | I think that she knows.

I've been watching old videos of Britney performing at the VMAs, and I'm sad. I'm so sad that this girl, who was once so vital, energetic, athletic, was basically chewed up and spit back out. No one ever prepared her for adulthood -- not that that's an excuse, but she just never had a chance. We kinda wanted her to fail, because she represented so much of what is wrong with the American music industry. I was always ranting about how Britney got to be a famous singer even though she (empirically) couldn't sing any better than about 90% of the girls at any given karaoke bar. But she did have talent -- not that she was such an amazing dancer, either, because she wasn't. But she could command a stage, better than any other performer of her generation. She wasn't the prettiest girl, and she wasn't the most talented girl. But she had some sort of indefinable star quality. I don't know if that charisma is worth the gazillion dollars that got thrown at her. Probably not. But it was obvious about 5 years ago that this was where the girl was going to end up, and we all watched, and we waited. Britney's entire life was a car crash in slow motion, and we rubbernecked for the better part of a decade.

This is my favorite fan video of the day.

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As far as Britney's body goes, I'm terribly torn. Honestly, if you judge her based on other women her age, especially women who've had two children, her body is slammin'. Unfortunately, she looks terribly uncomfortable moving at that weight. When she was 110 pounds of pure muscle, she was a dancin' dynamo. But she just doesn't know how to DANCE while weighing 135. That's because she's completely untoned. If she were standing still in that bikini, she'd look amazing. But moving around, she just looks MISERABLE and BLOATED and like she just doesn't know what to do with herself. I think it was the way she was carrying herself more than her actual figure that made people say all the "fat" stuff. She's demonstrably not fat, but she moves like she is. Get her to spend a couple of months with any half-decent bellydance troupe and maybe they'll give her some pointers. Girl needs to admit she's curvy now and work those curves.

(There's one picture floating around out there that, every time I see it, makes me think of Janeane Garofalo's old standup bit about how she's going to make her own version of Backdraft only call it Backfat. I am terrible for giggling at this.)

Britney Spears still looked sluggish out there. She didn't move like a drunk person. I wonder if she was under the influence of some Rx medication. She didn't have any energy. Her routine looked poorly rehearsed.

yeah, i agree. i should have been clearer: i don't think she's fat by any means, but she did look very uncomfortable trying to move onstage. it's just sad to compare her previous performances with the recent VMA one. night and day.

I think that she knows.

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You're right on all counts.

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