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phamosok, first things first. the firefly theme song has begun haunting my dreams. it plays as mick mars and matthew barney in his cremaster-satyr suit make out. gah!
the theme song pretty much sums up what i feel was terribly wrong with the pilot. namely, all of hollywood has been sucking joss's cock. and then they told him he could make a show about whatever he wanted, however he wanted, and they would give him great production values, and he could even write the theme song! however, joss's ego swollen to exploding proportions now, actually went and did it. the result is "serenity", the 2-hour pilot. joss went totally self-indulgent, and it's what fucked the show forever. the pace is plodding. the actors don't have a real sense of their characters yet. there's tired misdirection (that may have been tim minear's contribution). that war scene at the beginning goes on too long. the line "gettin' mighty crowded in my sky." WE GET IT. we're supposed to think that kaylee is the SENSUAL character because she sucks on that strawberry. WE GET IT. i actually sympathized with the network for once. they gave joss free reign to do whatever he wanted -- and he did whatever he wanted. and "serenity" is what came out. and i think when fox expressed its tempered dissatisfaction with the pilot, joss went all diva on them. something he learned at the feet of the very definition of undeserved divaness herself, ms. sarah michelle gellar. (all this is speculation based on rumor, of course.) so they finally got him to write essentially a new pilot, but he was notably put out about it, and probably a little whiny, so fox said "fuck you, we're putting your show on in an unwinnable timeslot and giving it no promotion. see ya!"
this is all very unfortunate. because the show? is good. the pilot? not so good. "the train job," the second pilot? also not that good. the rest of the show? basically got better and better.
i am now going to compare the shows episode by episode -- all of joss's work. note that i am placing the firefly episodes in the order they were meant to be aired, not the way they were aired.
EPISODES ONE: buffy's is certainly the strongest, with "city of angels" a lagging second, and the first half of "serenity" trailing behind.
EPISODES TWO: buffy's is again the strongest. angel's "lonely hearts" is an improvement on their pilot, and "serenity"'s second half again comes in third.
EPISODES THREE: angel takes the top slot with spike's first appearance, "in the dark". i have to admit, i'm a little biased towards any episode that features oz. next would be buffy's "the witch" and then "the train job."
EPISODES 4: this is where things get interesting. buffy and angel both run out of steam here, with the decidedly sub-par outings "teacher's pet" and "i fall to pieces." but the firefly episode, "bushwhacked", puts both of the others to shame. it's edgy, fun, well produced and directed, and you find yourself really caring that the characters not get killed. but why didn't they ever do more with the reavers, huh? oh, the episodes that will never be made...
EPISODES 5: all three of these are on the better end of mediocre. the firefly episode, "shindig," is a weak jane espensen outing, but her weak outings are still always good at least for a couple of laughs. buffy's contender is even weaker, "never kill a boy on the first date," memorable primarily for the RIDICULOUS SHORTNESS of buffy's green floral dress. the winner is probably angel's "room w/a vu," which showcases cordelia and doyle nicely and introduces key peripheral character, phantom dennis, who is sorely missed.
EPISODES 6: firefly's entry is "safe." and that's exactly what this episode is. eh, it's okay, but we knew they'd get around to the burning river at the stake plotline eventually. but buffy comes out with "the pack," which has its moments but is generally meh, and angel's offering is "sense and sensibility," which is an episode that left so little impression on me i had to go look it up. riiiight, the one where the talking stick makes all the cops into saps. bleah. if all three shows were judged solely on these episodes, firefly and buffy would get tenuously picked up, but angel would be quickly cancelled.
EPISODES 7: "the bachelor party," angel's 7th episode, is one i liked when i first saw it, but dislike more and more each time i watch it. but buffy and firefly both come out swinging, with "angel" and "our mrs reynolds," respectively. i love "angel" for its pivotal role in the buffy canon, but i have to say i'd be more likely to watch the saffron episode of firefly again and again. that actress is totally engaging, and all the characters finally seem to have become really defined.
EPISODES 8: well, i may be in a minority here, but i really love angel's 8th episode, "i will remember you." except for the part where she licks the ice cream off his chest. on the polar opposite of the spectrum, there lies "i robot, you jane." as i have said many times before, "i'm jacked in...i'm jacked in." the series' low point until possibly even season 7. and firefly gives us "jaynestown," which is strong but certainly not its best hour.
EPISODES 9: i also love "hero," the angel episode where doyle dies. but again, i may be in a minority. buffy has "the puppet show," which is good for a first season episode, but that doesn't really mean that much. firefly comes in last with "out of gas," which is a particularly telling name for the episode. sloooow. oh, and joss, wash with a mustache is not that hilarious a sight gag.
EPISODES 10: buffy's next episode is "nightmares," which is again good for a first season episode, but gah, with the "lucky nineteen" and the blatant anti-smoking bit. i also always will associate this episode with doing shrooms, which, as you might imagine, was a bit unsettling there for a while. angel's episode is "parting gifts," which is a slightly-above-mediocre chapter; it's better than "nightmares." firefly again blows them both out of the water with "ariel," which has such great production detail, suspense, betrayal...you get the gist.
EPISODES 11: buffy's "out of mind, out of sight," and angel's "somnambulist," are both mediocre, but "somnambulist" is better. "war stories" doesn't live up to "somnambulist";s low bar, though. jealousy between wash and mal comes out of seemingly nowhere to fuel the entire episode, and i just don't find zoe all that interesting, so the whole thing is bleh for me.
EPISODES 12: buffy goes out on the high note of the season with "prophecy girl". angel gives us a weak episode in "expecting," notable only for the fact that a member of the state knocks up cordelia with demon babies. but (and this will offend a lot of buffy purists) "trash," the firefly episode, is better than prophecy girl. maybe i just have a ridiculous weakness for this saffron chick, but the whole thing was just great fun, except for a bit of a deus ex machina at the end. the production values on "prophecy girl" are just SO piss poor that i can't take it seriously as the climactic episode buffy fans seem to want it to be.
EPISODES 13: well, now we're into season 2 of buffy, so the stakes are higher. "when we were bad" is a GREAT episode. yaaaay taunting-xander dance! so sexxxy. angel's offering is "she," which everyone else hates but i can't help but love for angel dancing with the little claps. firefly's "the message" is a little bit weaker and definitely sappier. so it comes in third.
EPISODES 14: angel gives us "i've got you under my skin," another one i had to look up but knew i didn't like. not good. buffy gives us "some assembly required," which is certainly not an A+ episode, but is good fun the way season 2 monster-of-the-week episodes were. firefly's "heart of gold"? woo, nelly, this is cheesy but fun. it's a whore house, people! how can you not like this stuff? ties with "some assembly" in the not-great-but-cheesy-fun department.
EPISODES 15: angel's "the prodigal" gives us crap irish accents, bad wigs, and kate lockley's boring-ass father. thumbs down. buffy offers "school hard," which is thought of as a classic. not my absolute favorite, but i'll respect the consensus. and then firefly leaves us with "objects in space," which pushes the willing-suspension-of-disbelief on some of the more technical aspects of the story, but is a very well made episode, well written and fun to watch. i won't cause an uproar by saying it's better than school hard, but...i liked it a lot.
so, if you look at the first 15 episodes of each series, buffy certainly doesn't really come alive until season 2. angel is hit and miss. and firefly starts stumbling but takes off as it goes. if firefly had been on upn or the wb...well, that's pointless. i mean, yes, it wouldn't have been cancelled, but it would have been a much crappier show. i mean, firefly with the budget of buffy's last season? the effects shots would have spaceships made out of styrofoam cups flying in front of a black board with pinpricks in it. so yes, firefly had the potential for being as good as anything else joss has done, and had a great deal of wonderful episodes. but, like a lot of buffy episodes, joss obviously seemed more interested in where he wanted to end up than how to get there. i think he gets these images in his mind and then writes the story around them, and that often ends up very badly. joss stopped paying attention to details a long time ago. it's sloppy, and i hated seeing it in firefly, too.
the theme song pretty much sums up what i feel was terribly wrong with the pilot. namely, all of hollywood has been sucking joss's cock. and then they told him he could make a show about whatever he wanted, however he wanted, and they would give him great production values, and he could even write the theme song! however, joss's ego swollen to exploding proportions now, actually went and did it. the result is "serenity", the 2-hour pilot. joss went totally self-indulgent, and it's what fucked the show forever. the pace is plodding. the actors don't have a real sense of their characters yet. there's tired misdirection (that may have been tim minear's contribution). that war scene at the beginning goes on too long. the line "gettin' mighty crowded in my sky." WE GET IT. we're supposed to think that kaylee is the SENSUAL character because she sucks on that strawberry. WE GET IT. i actually sympathized with the network for once. they gave joss free reign to do whatever he wanted -- and he did whatever he wanted. and "serenity" is what came out. and i think when fox expressed its tempered dissatisfaction with the pilot, joss went all diva on them. something he learned at the feet of the very definition of undeserved divaness herself, ms. sarah michelle gellar. (all this is speculation based on rumor, of course.) so they finally got him to write essentially a new pilot, but he was notably put out about it, and probably a little whiny, so fox said "fuck you, we're putting your show on in an unwinnable timeslot and giving it no promotion. see ya!"
this is all very unfortunate. because the show? is good. the pilot? not so good. "the train job," the second pilot? also not that good. the rest of the show? basically got better and better.
i am now going to compare the shows episode by episode -- all of joss's work. note that i am placing the firefly episodes in the order they were meant to be aired, not the way they were aired.
EPISODES ONE: buffy's is certainly the strongest, with "city of angels" a lagging second, and the first half of "serenity" trailing behind.
EPISODES TWO: buffy's is again the strongest. angel's "lonely hearts" is an improvement on their pilot, and "serenity"'s second half again comes in third.
EPISODES THREE: angel takes the top slot with spike's first appearance, "in the dark". i have to admit, i'm a little biased towards any episode that features oz. next would be buffy's "the witch" and then "the train job."
EPISODES 4: this is where things get interesting. buffy and angel both run out of steam here, with the decidedly sub-par outings "teacher's pet" and "i fall to pieces." but the firefly episode, "bushwhacked", puts both of the others to shame. it's edgy, fun, well produced and directed, and you find yourself really caring that the characters not get killed. but why didn't they ever do more with the reavers, huh? oh, the episodes that will never be made...
EPISODES 5: all three of these are on the better end of mediocre. the firefly episode, "shindig," is a weak jane espensen outing, but her weak outings are still always good at least for a couple of laughs. buffy's contender is even weaker, "never kill a boy on the first date," memorable primarily for the RIDICULOUS SHORTNESS of buffy's green floral dress. the winner is probably angel's "room w/a vu," which showcases cordelia and doyle nicely and introduces key peripheral character, phantom dennis, who is sorely missed.
EPISODES 6: firefly's entry is "safe." and that's exactly what this episode is. eh, it's okay, but we knew they'd get around to the burning river at the stake plotline eventually. but buffy comes out with "the pack," which has its moments but is generally meh, and angel's offering is "sense and sensibility," which is an episode that left so little impression on me i had to go look it up. riiiight, the one where the talking stick makes all the cops into saps. bleah. if all three shows were judged solely on these episodes, firefly and buffy would get tenuously picked up, but angel would be quickly cancelled.
EPISODES 7: "the bachelor party," angel's 7th episode, is one i liked when i first saw it, but dislike more and more each time i watch it. but buffy and firefly both come out swinging, with "angel" and "our mrs reynolds," respectively. i love "angel" for its pivotal role in the buffy canon, but i have to say i'd be more likely to watch the saffron episode of firefly again and again. that actress is totally engaging, and all the characters finally seem to have become really defined.
EPISODES 8: well, i may be in a minority here, but i really love angel's 8th episode, "i will remember you." except for the part where she licks the ice cream off his chest. on the polar opposite of the spectrum, there lies "i robot, you jane." as i have said many times before, "i'm jacked in...i'm jacked in." the series' low point until possibly even season 7. and firefly gives us "jaynestown," which is strong but certainly not its best hour.
EPISODES 9: i also love "hero," the angel episode where doyle dies. but again, i may be in a minority. buffy has "the puppet show," which is good for a first season episode, but that doesn't really mean that much. firefly comes in last with "out of gas," which is a particularly telling name for the episode. sloooow. oh, and joss, wash with a mustache is not that hilarious a sight gag.
EPISODES 10: buffy's next episode is "nightmares," which is again good for a first season episode, but gah, with the "lucky nineteen" and the blatant anti-smoking bit. i also always will associate this episode with doing shrooms, which, as you might imagine, was a bit unsettling there for a while. angel's episode is "parting gifts," which is a slightly-above-mediocre chapter; it's better than "nightmares." firefly again blows them both out of the water with "ariel," which has such great production detail, suspense, betrayal...you get the gist.
EPISODES 11: buffy's "out of mind, out of sight," and angel's "somnambulist," are both mediocre, but "somnambulist" is better. "war stories" doesn't live up to "somnambulist";s low bar, though. jealousy between wash and mal comes out of seemingly nowhere to fuel the entire episode, and i just don't find zoe all that interesting, so the whole thing is bleh for me.
EPISODES 12: buffy goes out on the high note of the season with "prophecy girl". angel gives us a weak episode in "expecting," notable only for the fact that a member of the state knocks up cordelia with demon babies. but (and this will offend a lot of buffy purists) "trash," the firefly episode, is better than prophecy girl. maybe i just have a ridiculous weakness for this saffron chick, but the whole thing was just great fun, except for a bit of a deus ex machina at the end. the production values on "prophecy girl" are just SO piss poor that i can't take it seriously as the climactic episode buffy fans seem to want it to be.
EPISODES 13: well, now we're into season 2 of buffy, so the stakes are higher. "when we were bad" is a GREAT episode. yaaaay taunting-xander dance! so sexxxy. angel's offering is "she," which everyone else hates but i can't help but love for angel dancing with the little claps. firefly's "the message" is a little bit weaker and definitely sappier. so it comes in third.
EPISODES 14: angel gives us "i've got you under my skin," another one i had to look up but knew i didn't like. not good. buffy gives us "some assembly required," which is certainly not an A+ episode, but is good fun the way season 2 monster-of-the-week episodes were. firefly's "heart of gold"? woo, nelly, this is cheesy but fun. it's a whore house, people! how can you not like this stuff? ties with "some assembly" in the not-great-but-cheesy-fun department.
EPISODES 15: angel's "the prodigal" gives us crap irish accents, bad wigs, and kate lockley's boring-ass father. thumbs down. buffy offers "school hard," which is thought of as a classic. not my absolute favorite, but i'll respect the consensus. and then firefly leaves us with "objects in space," which pushes the willing-suspension-of-disbelief on some of the more technical aspects of the story, but is a very well made episode, well written and fun to watch. i won't cause an uproar by saying it's better than school hard, but...i liked it a lot.
so, if you look at the first 15 episodes of each series, buffy certainly doesn't really come alive until season 2. angel is hit and miss. and firefly starts stumbling but takes off as it goes. if firefly had been on upn or the wb...well, that's pointless. i mean, yes, it wouldn't have been cancelled, but it would have been a much crappier show. i mean, firefly with the budget of buffy's last season? the effects shots would have spaceships made out of styrofoam cups flying in front of a black board with pinpricks in it. so yes, firefly had the potential for being as good as anything else joss has done, and had a great deal of wonderful episodes. but, like a lot of buffy episodes, joss obviously seemed more interested in where he wanted to end up than how to get there. i think he gets these images in his mind and then writes the story around them, and that often ends up very badly. joss stopped paying attention to details a long time ago. it's sloppy, and i hated seeing it in firefly, too.
