i used to like it raw

oh my shizznit! big baby jesus dropped dead!

i'm pouring a 40 on the corner.

siobhan and i were just talking about how dirty brought people together. could this be a natural fallout from the irrevocable split caused by this election? cosmic, dude.

(no subject)

my bangs and i are having a disagreement. unfortunately, my bangs always seem to win these arguments, and i am left with victorious wonky bangs.

they've decided to work themselves into a little high-rise right at my part. a hump, if you will. it is somewhat reminiscent of my hair in 7th grade. this is causing my bangs to propell themselves off of my forehead, thereby defeating the purpose of bangs. but do all the bangs flee? oh no. rowdy locks dangle precariously towards the middle of my forehead, with the 5 hairs that grow from my widows peak (which are the total bane of my existence, yet i am horrified by the thought of shaving my hairline, as a hairdresser once wanted to do) leading the way. i have attempted to hairspray these pieces into submission, which has only led to their becoming...oddly pointy. this is not to mention the pieces on the OTHER side of my part, which have decided to just fly straight out at a 45 degree angle on the x, y, AND z axes of the side of my head.

the truce we have reached? the bangs are allowed to pretty much go their own way, and i have been forced to pull the rest of my hair back into pigtails to counteract the greasing of said hair from running my hands through it in frustration so many times. this would usually be very cute, making me look sprightly and personable. unfortunately, that look works much better with bangs swooping gracefully across my countenance, not running roughshod in all directions throughout my forelock.

i am resigned to my fate. i must go do errands ere i shuffle my way to work, relegated to a night of greeting customers with stupid hair.