phamos: (bamababy)
I would really like it if people would just stop talking about the damn New Yorker cover. Yes, it may be tasteless and/or destructive, but there are SO MANY MORE important things that we need to be focusing on. As in, every single one of John McCain's policy positions is either objectionable or nonsensical. When liberals fuel the fire of a non-issue like the New Yorker idiocy, it's just goading on cable news morons who would much rather talk about salacious stuff like cartoon Obama flag burning than substantive things like McCain's theory of "magic economics" where we can balance the budget by slashing taxes, spending more on defense, and getting rid of like $2 in earmarks. TA-DAH! But, you know, that would be vaguely complicated to talk about and might require multisyllabic words, so pundits would obviously rather grunt about terrorist fist jabs. DO NOT ENCOURAGE THEM. WE DO NOT NEED 10 SEPARATE BLOG ENTRIES ON HUFFINGTON POST WITHIN 2 HOURS ON THE NEW YORKER COVER.

That is my public service announcement for the day. Now back to iPhones.
phamos: (headdesk)
Note to self-when out-of-context quotes on blogs send you into a blinding rage, always check to see if the article is titled "A Modest Proposal." *facepalm* I am rather embarassed now. Damn you, Jonathan Swift! Gulliver's Travels gargles my balls!
phamos: (entry)
Oh, Russian overlords. When you bought LiveJournal, I was so sad to think that I would not enjoy more LOLZ at the expense of our good friends at SixDistinctive. I figured that you would learn from their mistakes -- maybe you'd censor some Russian users and have a Cyrillic text uproar in a news post that I wouldn't understand, something like that, and you quickly made obvious that you'd make boneheaded decisions in a misguided attempt to maximize profit margins, yes...but certainly you would know not to piss off the fanfic writers...

YAY! I WAS WRONG! PREPARE FOR HILARITY, EVERYONE! *does LJ-idiocy dance of joy*
phamos: (superpower)
So I signed up online to volunteer for the Obama campaign this weekend, and they told me to come to a "training" tonight at their headquarters. This wasn't so much a training as a little mini-rally, mostly aimed at college kids who needed to get fired up/ready to go/whatever about pestering people down the hall in their dorms. Unbeknownst to me (and to the other people at the "training" over the age of 22, of which there were about 10 out of a crowd of 60 or so), the big draw for the night was that actors Kal Penn and Brandon Routh were going to come talk about why they support Barack Obama. I manged to pick up through some mumbling who the special guests were. A man in his early 40s asked me if I knew who was coming, who we were waiting for, and I said, "Superman and Kumar." This cracked up the little pod of middle-aged folks around me, one of whom started bemoaning the fact that she first worked on a campaign in '72 and she felt really old. I can only imagine how she felt, since I was already feeling pretty decrepit.

So the main organizers spoke, and basically told us to sign up if we hadn't already and they'd call us tomorrow to tell us when to come in and do our GOTV shift. And then Superman and Kumar came in. It's always funny to see celebrities in person, because they totally look like normal people, just slightly SHINIER normal people, and you feel like you know them but you totally don't. Brandon Routh is pretty tall -- about 6'3", I'd say. Nice broad shoulders. Pretty face, pretty hair. Up close I could see that his skin had a tiny bit of acne-scarring, which made me like him more. He was wearing a blue ringer t-shirt with Obama's face stenciled onto it. Good looking man. Kal Penn is also very cute. Shorter, about 5'10". Looks 100% exactly like he does on screen. Sounds 100% exactly like he does on screen. And he's a REALLY good Obama advocate, because he's obviously passionate, he's funny, he's very well-spoken, and he had some fantastic anecdotes to tell. (His grandparents marched with Gandhi, and he talked about growing up hearing those stories and how Obama is the first person to inspire him in that way since his grandparents. That's a good one.) Routh was less eloquent, more shambly every-man, but he made a great point about how campaigning for Barack Obama is not, for him, about being in the public eye and making a difference that way -- it just that, simply, he recognizes that you shouldn't be completely cynical about politics because politics touches you and everyone you love, and he felt the need to work against that cynicism for the betterment of himself and the people around him. Or something like that. GoBama!

When Penn and Routh got there and started talking, some TV cameras got turned on. This random guy (wearing a leather jacket and a shirt with Bush's face with an x through it) managed to position himself right next to Superman, and as soon as the cameras went on, he pulls out a giant cardboard sign with Obama's quote about being willing to go after Bin Laden in Pakistan plastered across the front, along with the URL infowars.org. (I didn't know whether he was an International ANSWER/Lyndon LaRouche guy or a Paultard at the time...from looking at the site, it looks like Paultard.) You could see that the organizers realized there was a disgruntled nerd trying to make a scene, and didn't quite know what to do...they were smart enough to immediately pick up (as did I) that he totally WANTED them to kick him out so he could shout about free speech shit, so they just ignored him. Brandon Routh was talking, and Kal Penn sorta looked over at the sign and started reading it and raised his eyebrows in a little "are you serious?" kind of face. It made me giggle. So the guy is ticked off that no one is paying any attention to his dumb sloganeering (you know, some of us have more nuanced ideas about foreign policy than just "bomb everyone" or "shiny happy people" and aren't particularly cheesed off about a leader saying that he is willing to use our armed forces for a mission -- when it's the right damn mission), so he suddenly starts shouting "Don't bomb Iran! Don't bomb Pakistan! Don't bomb Iran! don't bomb Pakistan!" A couple people look kind of confused, a couple of people hesitantly clap, like, "Yeah, I don't wanna do that. Are we bombing them? What's happening?" The vast majority of us just sorta stare at him like, "OK, yeah? Dude? Your point?" And he starts sorta mealy-mouthing something about how Obama is willing to bomb Pakistan. And we all continue to look at him like, yeah, duh, we're all politically aware adults, we heard that quote -- who didn't hear that quote? He starts walking towards the side-door of the laundromat (this is all happening in a laundromat which is also a bar which is also the Obama Madison headquarters), and a couple of people from the campaign are standing sorta near him and basically nudge him towards the door, and then he starts frantically shouting about "Free Speech" and says something about "Kumar", and Kal Penn laughs and says "That's not actually my name." So the guy basically just walks out the door of his own accord, because he has absolutely nothing of any substance to say and everyone's just sorta staring at him sadly, but I'm sure he'll be blogging tonight about how Obama goons manhandled him out of the laundromat. They didn't. It was entirely pathetic and spastic. WE'RE HERE! WE'RE QUEER! WE DON'T WANT ANY MORE BEARS!

That was my fun for the evening. I then drove around town trying (in vain) to find an open DQ to get an Arctic Rush, while simultaneously talking to Siobhan on the phone. Multitasking!
phamos: (psych!)
Oh, also, yet again the posting boards on TWoP blow my minds. I swear, some of these people HAVE NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW BEFORE. My current favorite?

spoilery, but only if you've pretty much never watched the show. )
phamos: (brain poison)
Yes, you should have bombed Auschwitz. That would have solved the whole problem. BOMBING SOLVES EVERYTHING.

(Condi sorta tries to make it seem like he was talking about bombing the train tracks that LEAD to Auschwitz, not Auschwitz itself. But given that his direct quote was "We should have bombed it," and train tracks are PLURAL, I don't think that holds up.)
phamos: (superpower)


Bill Kristol: Always, Always, Always Wrong.
phamos: (headdesk)
You are seriously fucking kidding me, right? RIGHT??

[checks calendar]

[not April Fools Day]

[HEADEXPLODEY]

[NO CARRIER]
phamos: (headdesk)
For some reason, an ad recruiting for public school teachers that reads...

Country Wide there are Teachers in Education shortages, collected with the buildup in our student population, has made it necessary for districts in Madison to root out other side methods to recruit, train and obtain super School Teachers for our students

...isn't giving me a whole lot of hope for the future.
phamos: (headdesk)
Exhibit Q in the case against the networks: Fox just outlawed Buffy musical episode sing-alongs. Yeah, fans of a show that doesn't air anymore who have already given Fox massive amounts of revenue! Quit watching it for free and enjoying yourselves! "UNSKIPPABLE COMMERCIALS MUST ALWAYS BE WATCHED AT ALL TIMES. IMBIBE OUR DIGITAL CONTENT IN THE FORMAT THAT WE MANDATE. oh, and VOTE REPUBLICAN. KTHXBI, kisses, Rupert."
phamos: (The Fuck?)
Think you know what an "overweight" person looks like? Think again. (Pippa and Erin, I salute you.)
phamos: (brain poison)
Wait. Do what now?

Dude, I feel you. Jeb Bush is totally all in my house with disease, too.

Maybe it's just because I haven't slept, but I'm seriously about to piss myself laughing over his 49th reason he's running for president:

To Prove the United States Government killed my sex life, my wife sex life, my daughter-in –laws sex life both may sons and other of my family members sex life with Espionage Experimentation and Espionage Exploitation sex killing.
phamos: (brain poison)
Can someone get Miss South Carolina a copy of Firefox? Cuz when I type shit on Facebook, this handy-dandy spellcheck application makes sure I don't look like a moron. When you're pretty much only KNOWN for being a moron, you should probably take steps to avoid perpetuating that image. For instance: "mine" is not spelled "myn". "doesn't" isn't spelled "dosen't". "seriously" isn't spelled "serisously". And, best of all, "academic scholarship" IS NOT SPELLED "academic schlorship". God bless America, and like such as.
phamos: (brain poison)
You're JUST NOT WEARING PANTS. I will brook no argument here, young lady. You are DEARTH PANTS. I am going to abstain from commenting on the absolute ridiculousness that is your hair, the fact that you only put in one of your frickin' FreshLooks, or how nast the insides of those boots must be by now. I am just asking you, please, as a favor to me (and to your ass), put on some pants. OK?
phamos: (headdesk)
Miss South Carolina gives it a second shot. She had all weekend to prepare for this and that's as good as she could do? (I have a sneaking suspicion that, if asked the same question, Ann Curry might also start talking about everywhere like such as the Iraq.)
phamos: (brain poison)


More cringeworthy than Kucinich singing "16 tons"? I'm so torn...
phamos: (headdesk)
You know what would really hit the spot right now? An ice-cold glass of DIET PEPSI MAX, with extra caffeine and ginseng! Wow, DIET PEPSI MAX really makes me want to avoid looking at Snarry art and to stop bugging those friendly and well-qualified Six Distinctive employees with all my nagging questions. THANKS DIET PEPSI MAX!

*iz ded*
phamos: (brain poison)


What the hell does Alex P. Keaton have to do with anything??
phamos: (Spoiler)
Some British TV presenter is probably going to get fired for "spoiling" Harry Potter on air. Look, folks, I understand -- nobody wants to get spoiled for the ending of a book. But firing someone for it? This has officially gone too far. People need to chill the fuck out. Besides, there's no one big "thing" to reveal from the end of the book, like there was with the last book. To really completely spoil the book would have taken him more than the momentary joke he apparently made. The book has been out for almost two weeks. If you haven't read it by now, people may well spoil you. You can't sit around and expect everyone else to tiptoe around you because at some point in a few months you might decide to read it. Millions of people now know what happened -- odds are, someone's going to spoil something for you. And it will suck, but you're going to have to get over it and not throw a hissy fit. (Unless you actually are a five-year-old. Then, I can understand being upset. But still, not so upset that your mom should TEXT-MESSAGE the TV station to vote to get the guy fired. Yikes.)

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