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I'm thinking I want a livejournal instead of a blog. The reasons are numerous, but is it lame if my primary desire is to have cartoon emoticons next to every post? No, really I'd like to be able to be part of the networky-thing livejournal has going on -- I think it works better than the "team" concept.

I feel guilty, though, cuz Kormes is sponsoring my blog. Maybe I can try and keep both of them going: I can use the blog in a more stereotypically-bloggy sense, like posting links and articles and stuff. Abby or Katie, can either of you send me a "code" or whatever it is that you need to start a livejournal without paying?
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Hey everybody, join the Road Rules/Real World Fantasy Challenge! The game is based on the new season of Real World/Road rules Challenge, which I think starts next week. You get points for how often Flora strips or Elka cries or Jisela sleeps with someone! And we can challenge each other -- let me know if any of you sign up. It's like Fantasy Football for pop culture whores!
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So I have this nasty sore throat and I tried to combat it by drinking a lot of Sunkist orange soda and now I'm totally wired and can't get to sleep which is just going to make me feel even worse at work tomorrow. Yuck.

I decided to shell out the extra ten bucks a month and get digital cable. For some reason we've been getting all the digital cable channels up to 95 but we can't get the ones over that, which blows cuz that's where M2 and Noggin and all the other good stuff hides. For those who don't know, Noggin is this network that is a joint venture of Nickelodeon and the Children's Television Workshop. During the day it pretty much just shows, like, Allegra's Window and Doug and Bill Nye the Science Guy, but at night it kicks ass -- it's like 7 straight hours of old Sesame Streets and Electric Company and 3-2-1 Contact and Square One. So basically all the old CTW stuff from the 70s and 80s. Rock! Now, if Nickelodeon finally pulls its share and they start showing Pinwheel and Todays Special, I may wet myself.

But yeah, so they just raised our Road Runner cable modem monthly price anyway, so I figured I'd just bite the bullet and get the package that gets us the most bang forour buck. We'll get like 96 HBOs and 57 Encores and crap. No one could actually watch all that, but what we will end up getting is definetly worth 10 measly extra bucks a month in the scheme of things. Plus when things calm down at work, I'm planning on taking a mini-vacation to make up for the fact that I didn't get one at Christmastime. I'm thinking I tape Noggin every night until then and have a mad vintage Sesame Street marathon for like a week. Roosevelt Franklin and Forgetful Jones, here I mothafuckin' come!
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UGH! I'm sorry, but Americans are so fucking self-satisfied in their own ignorance! I've just been reading a thread on a newsgroup where someone expressed disbelief that Trent Lott would use the word "Paki" to describe the inhabitants of Pakistan, as in "The Pakis have been very helpful..." and the majority of the newsgroup readers were like, so?

Well, first of all, in every English speaking country other than America, that is a recognizable slur. Calling a someone of Indian-subcontinent-descent a "Paki" in England or Canada is comparable to"kike" or "chink."

Second of all, there's no such goddamned thing as a "Paki"!! It is in no way similar to the Uzbeks of Uzbekistan, or the Tajiks ofTajikistan. "Paki" is not an ethnic or national group. The "Paks" in Pakistan is an anagram for the four most prevalent ethnic groups within the state: Punjab, Afghan, Kashmiri, Sindhi. (Although, technically, "Afghan" isn't a terribly useful descriptive term, as has been made pretty clearby the media coverage on Afghan ethnic conflicts, but I digress.) (Strangely enough, this name also did NOT include the Bengalis of what would later become Bangladesh but was originally East Pakistan and the site of the civil war...but I digress again)

I'm not saying that the average American should be expected to know this stuff off the top of their head. It would be nice if any of them did. But what really got my goat was the people who wrote to the thread saying, "Well, I've always just called them Pakistinians."

You HAVE? Well, what the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU!?!? This is like Rutha with the "Talebanese" and the "Talibanians," but at least Rutha was upfront about the fact she didn't know what she was talking about and not completely like, "doh, dee doh, dee doh, I'm a stupid American, I have no concept of the difference between Palestinians and Pakistanis, la la la, they're all just darkie Muslim terrorists, right? dooh dah, dooh dah."

This is why people hate Americans. THIS is the image ofAmerica that people have -- people with no knowledge or background in world history or current events, and no interest in learning anything about what's happening other than with their own money and their own gas guzzling cars and their preferred football team and Britney Spears' latest single, and being perfectly happy with that and expecting the world to just cater to them because, goddammit, they pay their taxes!

I know a damn lot of useless pop culture knowledge. But I also know a fair amount about what's going on in the world beyond my own backyard, and I always want to learn more. Self-satisfied idiots will be the death of this country -- and it's good to know my representatives in Congress are among those self-satisfied idiots. Because why would Trent Lott be expected to know there's no such thing as a "Paki"? He's just a FUCKING SENATOR!!
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Hey Mark Kormes, I just went to the new Criterion website and saw that you're somehow involved. What's your position at the Criterion this year? And are you really going to get articles up there soon? I'd love to be able to read the Criterion online. I mean, I pretty much always vehemently disagree with everything in it, but it's still a good, dense read.

Plus, sometimes I like things that make me angry.

Like Buffy.

{I mean that I like the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer although it often makes me angry at its utter inability to juggle more than two plotlines in an increasingly hamhanded fashion. Not that Buffy the character sometimes likes things that make her angry. Although, I guess that works, too. Spike makes her angry, and the two of them proceed to fuck a house down. So...choose your poison.}
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mark said:

They are Corky and the Juice Pigs? I thought they sang the gay eskimo song....

Yeah, it was sorta my attempt at a joke -- about how on all the file sharing things the people who share the files never actually know the name of the artists who sang the songs so they just randomly put down artists of the same style and that takes over the whole network and becomes accepted information -- like how every Motown song was apparently sung by the Supremes. Apparently, every comedy song was sung by TenaciousD.

You actually remember the name Corky and the Juice Pigs?
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hi everyone. i'm posting from jfk airport on one of these lttle "check your email" machines. i just stood in line for security for an hour. they made me take off my belt. strip tease at the metal detector! the "a" key on this piece o crap don't work too well, that's what i'm discovering. so my flight's not for another 2 hours or so -- the traffic getting here was much lighter than i expected. i shall now go read both time and newsweek. party! oh, and buffy last night? gooooood. sexxxxxx. yaaaaaay.
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Hey Mark, did you know that it was the now-world-famous Tenacious D that sang that gay eskimo song back in the early days of Comedy Central?

The things you can learn on Lime Wire.
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abby said:

the laffy taffy jokes ruled.

Dude, Abby, those are so lame.
phamos: (Default)
abby said:

a) willy wonka candy rules, especially laffy taffy, which is the greatest candy ever invented.

katie said:

on the topic of willy wonka, i agree, laffy taffy is the world's best candy, i eat it everyday.

Laffy Taffy used to run ads in Archie comics in the late 80s, where the various fruit flavors would brainstrom jokes and puns. I have never actually eaten said taffy.

We're going to see Monsters Inc tonight. I'm psyched. Rumor has it Harry Potter showings next weekend have already sold out online. Yikes.
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Wonka candy redid all their packaging. The gobstoppers and nerds are far more psychedelic now.

I love Wonka candy. It's so -- non-chocolate-dependent.
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abby said:

fuck buffy. me n' spike are getting married. he can sing love-lorn ballads to me any day.

Ok, I'll let you have Spike this one time, but I'm keeping Giles!

and possibly Tara, but only this new Tara that sings and has a personality.
phamos: (Default)
mmmmmm...buffy musical.....
phamos: (Default)
Hey, it seems as though the Chicago Maroon actually put some material in its orientation issue that wasn't a thousand years old. Here's part of an essay on Chicago traditions that I particularly identified with. )
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this guy sitting next to me at mcdonalds over lunch had a cell phone that rang a linkin park song. and now said linkin park song is in my head. dammit!
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kormes said:

As far as Michael J. Fox goes: He also played Alex P. Keaton, one of the coolest sitcom characters in history!

why does it not surprise me at all that you're an alex p. keaton fan, mark?

well, actually, i watched a good hunk of that family ties marathon on nick at night last month and he wasn't nearly as obnoxiously republican as i remembered. it got more prominent towards the end of the series -- like when he tries to teach andy the virtues of capitalism. all very funny. ironic that he's such a big fat liberal in real life. (well, ok, small canadian liberal would be more like it...)

oh, and everybody welcome mark kormes to the blog.
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more fun with newsradio quotes:

Dave: Normally at a time like this I'd ask you for advice, and you'd say something that would make no sense at all, but somehow it would all fit together. Like, I would tell you, "Sir, I have a problem," and you'd say, "Well, what is it?" and I'd say, "Well, sir, Lisa wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married," and you'd say "Dave, why milk the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" And I'd say, "Sir, that makes no sense," and you'd say, "Well, it sure made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown," and I'd say, "Sir, Chuck Connors wasn't in Chinatown," and you'd say, "Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation I'd have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job," and I'd say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two people," and you'd say, "Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him."
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I know this is hella indiscreet, but I don't care! We just got a check from Michael J. Fox and it literally made my heart go pitty-pat. I sorta screamed "eeeeeeeeeeee!" like some pitiful mid-80s teenybopper. But how CUTE is that!?! I love when we get money from celebrities that I really like and respect -- and who are so boyishly cute!
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Oh no! Cory Haim has stopped the blog dead in its tracks!

OK, so I'll change the subject. Unfortunately, I have nothing to really say. I'm at work. I just ate a donut hole that is not sitting well. FX has changed its Buffy airing schedule, but I think I'm on top of it. I went to see Bat Boy-The Musical and it was hella funny. Very very good. I also went to see K-PAX -- not so much. Funny how Kevin Spacey as an alien is a lot like Kevin Spacey as a beleaguered suburbanite and a lot like Kevin Spacey as a serial killer. Mostly my weekend was as relaxing as I could make it. I'm sleepy, though.
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OK, so I saw the tail end of the Corey Haim True Hollywood Story this past weekend. And when Cory Feldman comes off looking like the sane, rehabilitated friend who Haim can go to for help, there is something REALLY wrong in the situation. At one point, E! shows this interview Haim did (specifically for the True Hollywood Story, mind you), where he is COMPLETELY NONSENSICAL. He strings together a number of nonsense syllables, thinking they actually form an answer to the question being asked. It's sad, but I'm a terrible person, because I laughed out loud.

Apparently Corey has been nonsensical for years now. Coke, pills, whatever his current addiction of choice, this boy is in some serious denial about his place in Hollywood and his personal life.

Cory Haim was also married to Vanessa Marcil at a very young age. Vanessa Marcil is now marrying Brian Austin Green. Brian Austin Green used to date Tiffani Amber Thiessen. Tiffani Amber Thiessen is now marrying Richard Ruccalo, from Two Guys, a Girl, a Pizza Place, a Bishop, a Baker, and a Candlestick Maker. The other guy in said long-windedly-titled sitcom played Billy, the annoying little Nirvana-aping slacker freshman from Nickelodeon's renowned series Fifteen, a gem of early nineties television if there ever was one. This is one of my favorite games to play. "Connect the has-beens!"


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